Cut Lines: under delivering
i am going to break par in 2022.
that’s good
to honor Black History Month, SKRATCH published a series this week hosted by my friend and work husband, Bradford Wilson. The past, current, and future episodes highlight important and overlooked Black golf stories. Check out episode 1 here:
ALSO: where you spend your dollar is important. here’s a list of Black-owned businesses to buy from.
the tap in
each cut lines newsletter contains a question: an opportunity for reflection. if comfortable, share your responses by replying to this email.
a group golf therapy favorite: what are your favorite golf smells?
under delivering
somewhere, in between the ticking countdown of New Year’s Eve 2021—somewhere, in the slushy ice-melt purgatory between Anderson Cooper’s 4th and 5th tequila soda—I was thinking about golf. No resolutions wrapped in self-betterment came to mind, no altruistic vows to support political causes, no contemplating the mysteries of the universe. Just me and my golf. Disgusting.
One central question spun loopily:
How do I, for the first time in my life—for the sake of my life—break par?
The irony is not lost on me: for some time, I have preached the disposal (by burning) of scorecards. I never play for score, I play for play and wonderment and connection. Well, this little three-putt machine just changed his mind.
Semi-regularly, I lay awake (below) and stew on what could have been: my career-low round of 1-over 73.
A walk in the park at Stone Creek, south of Portland, OR yielded an unprecedented and yet somehow ho-hum 1-under thru 9 h0les. By 17, the obelisk had crumbled, to the tune of 2 fatted wedge shots and a whole heap of negative self talk. A bird-dog on 18 produced my best-ever score, but I felt like I’d just straw chugged a quart of sour milk. What could have been!
I’d really like to sleep in 2023. Will shooting 71 allow that to happen? There’s only one way to find out.
SO HERE’S THE RUB
I’ve contracted the support of my favorite professional golfer: winner of the 2017 Colorado Open, Shank Haney herself, Liz Breed. Liz will be yelling at me in our podcast studio and real life, along with goading me with top secret game improvement drills, and whacking me upside the head with infomercial training aids (below).
I’ll also be gearing up my mind and body, with Headspace (ad) and at Five Iron (ad: slither into their dm’s and tell them I sent you), respectively. I’ll speak with sports psychologists, ultra marathoners, professional golfers, champion bowlers, anyone who can scHool me on the pursuit of perfection. Regardless of whether par is broken, I am going to be an absolute unit by year’s end.
The rules are thus:
One attempt at breaking par, per each calendar month (only 12 attempts…!!)
Each attempt will adhere to tournament rules of golf, as governed by the United States Golf Association
Everything in the cup, duh
Hit O.B., must re-tee, duh
Play alongside a trustworthy, accountable scorer, duh
Ostensibly, under delivering is my attempt to become a better golfer. But the real coup de grace is in bargaining a relationship with the game on my own terms, a celebration of curiosity, and the pursuit of something real. Naturally, questions arise:
Q: Why tf are u doing this?
A: See above (mainly 4 sleep)
Q: Wht if u break par in like March?
A: Terrified of this happening. I want the struggle. I want this telenovela of my life to follow a strict III Act Structure. I’ll say this: if there’s a 5-footer for 70 in March, I *might* suddenly get the speed all wrong.
Q: How much time are you going to spend on this? How much is too much?
A: Yeah. I’ve never enjoyed practice. In college (more on this l8r), we spent more time at practice drinking than hitting balls or putting. I’m also a feel player, which is what you call someone who is not good at golf but has an inkling of natural ability. I’m genuinely scared that more practice will make me worse. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Q: Why should i care about this?
A: You shouldn’t. This whole thing is self-indulgent. It’s Wonka’s factory. But maybe, you’ll learn something that I don’t. Maybe one of those sports psychologists, ultra marathoners, professional golfers, or champion bowlers will teach you something about the pursuit of perfection—or perhaps more importantly, about letting go. idk.
*BONUS KAWNTENT*
I officially completed my first attempt at under delivering. 3 trains and 1 Lyft (ad) shepherded me to Pelham Bay & Split Rock in the New York Yankees’ hometown, the bronx.
Being January, the greens were frozen, and to make matters more rugged the pro shop had no food, nor coffee. To put it plainly: I was f*cked.
An 85 is all I could muster. That’s 13 strokes given to the golf course. But we must take positives: it wasn’t an 86. The round played alongside Shank Haney was joyous.
More to come, on training regimen, lessons learned, lessons ignored, and a patented existential-dread-meter.
~CL
And now, TAKEAWAYS, from my postmortem with Shank Haney:
the banner image for this cut lines newsletter was designed by michael butler. here’s his website and instagram. if you want to design a cut lines banner (1100 x 220), do it! go off!